"Get a tarp and a large thing of lube. Put your tv in your room and find some filthy pornography. Wait naked on the slick, tarped up bed until your valentine comes over. Have the pornography going. Put a bucket of ribs or chicken (or other similarly sexy dish) somewhere that’s easily reachable from the bed. Be sure you’ve had a shower. Have some Nine Inch Nails cued up on the stereo. Get weird."
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Brendan Kelly’s Valentine’s Day suggestions from 2011, which are perfectly in line with my Roman Emperor Lifestyle.  (via istealforksfromrestaurants)

I am pretty sure that this is EXACTLY what those ???’s were about in my previous post.